Axe: A Steel Paragons MC Novel Page 4

  But to my surprise, his face flashed with panic as he tucked his gun away, making sure that it was effectively hidden beneath his warn, leather cut. And when Neiryn said daddy with a questioning voice, I knew I had to shift the focus, and quick. These guys couldn’t even have a hint of where I’d come from.

  I rushed to pick up Neiryn, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy. The closeness to Axe was overwhelming to my senses. It was like my brain sparked and spazzed out like a short circuit. My nose was suddenly filled with the scent of leather, pure man, and a hint of lingering cigarette smoke. Which should have made my stomach churn, but for some reason on him, it was almost perfection.

  I clipped out words about needing to feed my boy barely managing to keep my hard edge as I did. Axe’s eyes met mine and I swallowed back the lump in my throat. He was too close, I needed space but I also didn’t want to seem like I was backing down. Rock meet hard place. Who the hell was this guy? And why did I feel so thrown off by him?

  I could have said, without a single doubt, that I’d never felt like I felt at that moment. Sure there was fear, but that fear was mixed with a heavy dose of what I could only describe as attraction. It felt so wrong given my situation and the fact that I had Neiryn in my arms, but my body didn’t seem to get that message as my heart raced and my nipples puckered.

  Axe narrowed his eyes at me and I’d never felt so exposed. His head cocked to the side the tiniest bit before he cut his eyes to my son.

  “There’s a kid.” He said and I couldn’t quite tell if it was a question or not. The lack of emotion this guy held in his voice was super misleading. But then his brows pinched together and I could read confusion all over his face. “I didn’t know there was a kid.” He cut his eyes over to the one standing just inside the dining room threshold.

  I chanced a look and the guy with shaggy, brown hair and brown eyes only shrugged. His shoulders were tight and his stance was rigid. My eyes drifted down his cut to find the name Brand on a fairly clean looking patch. I knew enough to know that this guy must either be pretty fresh off the prospect boat or a neat freak, but I didn’t dare say anything. For all I knew, it was both.

  Instead of saying ‘why would you?’ or ‘what does it matter?’ I simply slid past Axe and took his vacated seat. This way I could see all three of them and feed my son at the same time. Sure, that pretty much had me backed into a corner, but I had a feeling in my gut that they weren’t going to hurt me. At least, not while my son was around.

  Knowing I didn’t have any plates, I began to tear up a slice into little pieces, making sure it wasn’t too hot for Neiryn to eat. He grabbed at a piece, seeming unaffected by the men standing around.

  “Would you like some?” I said in a surprisingly calm tone. I looked at each of them, catching the patch of the third one. He was a prospect and as my eyes met his black ones, he gave a small nod but didn’t make a move away from blocking the front door. Not that I would have expected anything different.

  “Thanks,” Brand said as he stepped forward and snagged a piece.

  “We don’t get too many new faces around here,” Axe said, picking up the slice that he had taken before.

  “I was driving through and I thought this town looked like a nice place to stay for a while,” I said. My shoulders didn’t relax as I sat there trying my best to sound casual. I could tell that he picked up on the whole thing.

  Man, I would make a terrible spy.

  “Where ya from?” Axe asked and I got the feeling he held the most power out of the three of them. Then again, from the patches on his cut, I could tell he was an Enforcer. Clearly, he was an officer in the club and therefore had more pull than the other two, especially the prospect.

  A chill ran through my spine just thinking about his position. I didn’t want to imagine the things that he had to do as an Enforcer, the things that he had to see.

  Instead of letting my head drive itself in that direction, I focused on Neiryn and making sure he wasn’t shoving too much into his mouth at once.

  “Dink,” my little boy said, breaking the crazy tension and saving me from having to answer. I went to stand up, holding him close as I did, but Axe shot up out of his seat before I could.

  “I’ll get it. What…uh, does he drink?” he asked, almost looking lost at what to do.

  “There is some juice on the counter, and a clean sippy cup in the bag next to the couch.”

  My eyes followed his every movement. His jeans were worn and looked soft. They hung low on his hips and when he bent over to retrieve the cup, his shirt slipped up and I could see the black band of his underwear.

  I licked my bottom lip without even realizing it. Brand cleared his throat, drawing my attention to him. He leaned back against the wall, his slice completely gone now. He smirked when my eyes met his, letting me know that what had just happened hadn’t gone unseen.

  Damn.

  I needed to get myself together. I couldn’t let these guys rattle me. But that was easier said than done, because clearly, Axe was shaking me in a way I would never have expected. The worst thing was, I couldn’t help but call attention to it.

  Axe came back and slid the cup across the table. Neiryn reached for it and quickly tipped it back. He let out a refreshing sound when he was done and I couldn’t help but smile at how cute he could be. If I wasn’t mistaken, Axe’s lips twitched a bit but I wouldn’t let myself believe it was because he was thinking the same thing I was about my boy.

  “Tank ah,” Neiryn said looking at Axe.

  “You’re welcome, Lil man,” Axe said with a slight nod to him.

  This was the most awkward meal I think I’d ever had, and that was saying something. The pizza was growing cold in front of me, but the hunger I’d had earlier was suddenly gone. My stomach was in knots and the thought of putting food in it left me feeling sick.

  Neiryn ate and the room was silent except for the little humming noises he made when he chewed. After he was done I took him to the kitchen and cleaned him up, all the while there was Axe making a point to stand in the doorway, watching me with a hawk’s eye.

  I knew I couldn’t hide things from him much longer. He’d made his intentions known and it was a matter of time before he got tired of my silence. I knew I was a terrible liar and I only hoped I could hold it together long enough to give him the tip of the iceberg. I just needed to feed him enough information to satisfy him and keep my cover at the same time.

  But there was something about his gaze that made me want to crack completely. Made me want to break down, tell him everything, and hope that he would hold me in the end.

  Which was crazy! And I knew it. This guy seemed like he wasn’t the comforting type. Even if I ever entertained the idea of finding someone to spend my life with, Axe was the furthest thing from who that person should be.

  The only excuse I could come up with was that I was so fucked up that I had no idea what good was anymore—what right was. The more I thought about it, the more I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.

  Maybe I wouldn’t make it out of this normal in the end. But then again, I had no idea what normal was anymore.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Axe

  The three of us hung around for a bit. Then I sent Calvin outside to watch the house. He went with no resistance, not even a hint of disappointment on his face. Maybe he would work out. That was good because we needed new members, and good ones, at that.

  She had a kid. That came as a fucking shock. It shouldn’t have changed anything but for some weird as fuck reason, it did. It wasn’t like I was really going to hurt her before, and even though I had pulled my gun, I knew I wasn’t ever going to use it. It was simply a scare tactic. She didn’t need to know that, though. And the fear in her eyes was something I couldn’t forget. It shouldn’t have made me feel the things I felt, but it did. And there was no denying it to myself. Though, I was pretty sure I was the only one who could tell that it invoked that kind of response.

  Shit. I needed to get the he
ll away from her for a bit, only I couldn’t. I had a job to do and a club to protect. I was just going to have to sit there, grin and bear it, and fucking find out what I needed to as fast as possible.

  Since the sun had gone down a while ago, parts of the house were still dark. I sat on the couch as she busied herself trying to figure out all the switches for the lights in the house. I could have helped her out, but I didn’t want to let her know I knew the layout of this place that well.

  She didn’t let the kid out of her sight for even a second. In fact, she’d spent the last two hours with him on her hip. I knew her arms and back had to have been tired but I didn’t dare say anything. I understood the need to keep him close. She was his mother and a decent mother would do anything to protect their child. And so far, she seemed like a good mother.

  I cut the thoughts off about my own mother as they tried to snake their way into my mind. It wasn’t the time to deal with my issues. Truth was, there was never a time to deal with them. Maybe that was why I was so fucked up because I never really stopped long enough to let it all in and then let it out. No. I couldn’t let myself go there now.

  I wanted to talk to her—no, I wanted to interrogate her, but I couldn’t with the kid around. So I hung out, for lack of a better term, hoping that the kid grew tired soon and I would have the chance to do exactly what I planned on doing when I had barged in here.

  Finally, his little eyes grew heavy as she rocked her body back and forth. His tiny head started to bow down, finally coming to rest on her shoulder. Her eyes met mine with a fire behind them like she fucking knew what was to come. She was about to lose her buffer and I couldn’t help but to smirk at that. Her eyes went a little wide at the look on my face. Good, I wanted her to be shaking with fear.

  “I need to, ah, put him down,” she said with a little strain in her voice.

  “Alright,” I said motioning to the stairs, hoping she would get the hint that I was I screaming at her.

  Brand was still lurking in the background. I knew I could handle this by myself, but for some reason, I kept him around. Maybe it was that I didn’t trust myself to be alone with her. I knew the clock was counting down and I was going to have to send him on his way soon. He needed to go back to the club so he could fill in Cal, who, no doubt, was about to have a heart attack waiting for some kind of info. Sadly we didn’t have much, but if Cal knew what was going on, I knew he’d be able to relax a bit.

  She bent down, struggling to lift a big, bulky thing and keep the kid upright at the same time.

  “I got it,” I said as I jumped off of the couch and picked up whatever the fuck it was.

  She nodded and headed for the upstairs. I followed close behind, her sugary scent filled my nose and made my thoughts go to places it had no right to go to. She shouldn’t have smelled that damn good and I hated my body for reacting to it.

  I hadn’t been deep in a pussy in a while and I blamed that as the reason why she was getting to me.

  Yeah, Jessica had ended things between us months ago, and while I was no saint, the other club bitches didn’t really appeal to me anymore. That wasn’t to say that I had been on a dry spell all those months. Nope, not me. But I found the sex downright boring, even when I was able to let go a little.

  She went to the right, leading me to the master bedroom. I glanced at the bed and a rush of filthy images clouded my head. I tried to control my breathing, but I knew I was doing a piss poor job at it. Fuck, this chick was throwing me off my game. I needed to reel that shit in and fast.

  “Here,” she said, gesturing to the corner of the room furthest from the door.

  Right, I was carrying something and I guessed she needed it set up. My only thought that this was some sort of sleeping area for the kid.

  I dropped the thing to the ground and knelt beside it while she hovered just over my shoulder. I wasn’t worried about having my back to her, I knew she wouldn’t do anything while holding the boy. I unzipped the thing and pulled out all the pieces. I had no clue what I was doing, but I tried to look confident as I shook it out.

  “No,” she said, sounding almost amused. “Push down on the bottom.”

  I’ll be damned, that was a lot easier than I would have thought. She pointed to the part that had been wrapped around the whole thing and I unfolded it.

  Ah, that goes in the bottom.

  After it was all put together, she placed the little boy down, making sure she didn’t wake him. She brushed his hair from his forehead as she stared down at him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The calm I felt coming off of her in waves as she watched the sleeping boy seemed to seep into my soul.

  “We need to talk,” I said breaking the silence because I couldn’t stand there and watch any longer. I couldn’t choke back the emotions that gripped me anymore.

  “Hmmm, yeah,” she whispered. “Can you do me a favor? Can you go down and get the blue and white blanket out of the bag by the couch and the lion that is probably somewhere near that?”

  “Yeah,” I said and my feet carried me blindly down the stairs to do so.

  I found what she needed right away. As I rose from grabbing the lion that was halfway under the couch, I caught Brand’s stare.

  “What?” I asked flatly, but my face held a scowl.

  “Nothing,” he said meaning the complete opposite of what he’d said.

  “Don’t start, asshole,” I nearly barked. Damn, I was losing my edge. It had been a long time since that had happened and by the look that he held on his face, he’d noticed. “Go back to the compound. Fill Cal in and tell him I’m staying here. Leave the prospect outside. He stays watch all night.”

  “On it,” he said as he moved to the front door. “You got this?” he asked over his shoulder after he pulled open the door.

  Of course I fucking had it.

  Yeah, that was a huge lie. But instead of saying anything, I gave him a short nod without even looking at him. I knew that if I did, my face would give away my insecurity.

  I ran the items back up the stairs and handed them to her. I watched with strained eyes as she neatly tucked the blanket around the sleeping child and placed the lion in the corner of the pen, almost like it was watching over him.

  It hit me then that I didn’t know their names. I was sure she’d figured out mine by now given that it was written on my chest. Then again, she might not have been that smart. I had no idea. But something told me that she did, that she got more than she let on to and that bothered me just a little.

  I could tell she was hesitating and I was tired of pussy footing around this shit.

  “Let’s go,” I said low so I wouldn’t wake the kid.

  She didn’t look at me as she scooted out the room and practically ran down the stairs. She headed for the kitchen, I imagined to try to busy herself with something and avoid me, but it wasn’t going to work.

  I snagged her arm just before she made it to the doorway to the kitchen. She let out a tiny yelp. I used my body to pin her back against the wall, my arm resting right beside her head while the other pushed against her hip. She wasn’t going anywhere and the look in her eyes told me she knew she was trapped. But instead of cowering and showing me her fear, she turned her head away from me. I held back a laugh because I wasn’t going to make this easy on her and she could fight me all she wanted, in the end, I would get the things that I came here for.

  My hand slid up her body, coming to rest between the swell of her breast and shoulder. I pinned her back as I studied her. She smelled fucking good. Her sweet scent mixing with the toxic smell of her fear. My pants suddenly grew tight and I almost wanted to feel bad about it.

  I should have been asking her questions. I should have been pressing her for answers. But I couldn’t think about that as I stared at her long, slender neck. All I wanted to do was run my tongue up it and see if she tasted as good as she smelled. I wanted to bite and suck her tender flesh as my hand wrapped around her delicate neck.

  And like a man p
ossessed, my hand slid up further, coming to lightly wrap around the column of her neck. Her pulse quickened and I could feel her swallow hard against my palm. Bending down, I ran my nose against the soft flesh leading up to her ear as I took in a deep breath.

  I had to stop. I knew I did, but for some reason, I couldn’t.

  My thumb slid up, pushing her chin back and making her neck stretch under my hold.

  “Look at me,” I said almost in a growl beside her ear.

  Her face slowly turned as I pulled back to see her. It took too many painfully long seconds for her to drag her beautiful blue eyes up to mine. But when she finally met my gaze, I was fucking breathless. Everything in her look screamed want, need, desire.

  Could it have been that she was as turned on by her fear as I was?

  That should have stopped me in my damn tracks. That set alarm bells off in my head. Because if she was as wet as I was hard, then that could only mean one thing.

  Hey, I knew I was completely fucked in the head, that was no secret to myself. I never once thought that I was normal, though sometimes I liked to pretend that I could be.

  So my thought right then was what the hell happened to her to make her just as messed up in the head as me? That had to be the only explanation to why she had reacted that way.

  Her lips parted and tiny pants of breath forced their way out of her mouth. All the blood rushed south, causing my brain to shut the fuck down and I realized that I was totally screwed right then.

  She blinked at me, her head still tilted back and leaning against the wall, held there by my big hand wrapped around her neck. Fucking sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

  Reluctantly, my hand moved away from her throat. My fingers danced down her shirt, between her breast, over her stomach.

  “You like that, huh?” I said and she remained very still. “Don’t want to answer me?”

  Her body stayed plastered against the wall, her palms pressed flat on the unforgiving surface beside her legs.