Bocca: A Steel Paragons MC Novel Read online

  “Good,” I responded and gave the biggest smile I could muster. “Can’t complain.”

  If I really thought about it, it wasn’t much of a lie. I didn’t have anything that I really could complain about. I may have been a little let down about certain things…okay, a certain person, but I was alive and I was healthy. See, I knew how to look at the bright side.

  “Alright, tell me what’s going on with you today?” I asked, jumping into work mode before he could catch on to what I wasn’t saying.

  I liked Mr. Wilts. He was always nice to me. He brought a smile to some of my crazier days. It was like he knew just the right time to come in. Today hadn’t been so bad, but I had a heaviness hanging over me that I had been trying my hardest to shake. I couldn’t seem to. The nights I spent alone in my condo seemed to be the worst times. I’d always been alone there but now I actually felt alone while trapped inside those walls.

  I only had myself to blame. I didn’t want to admit that I had maybe fallen for the charming stranger, but I had. I was doing my best to work it out and move on because he clearly didn’t feel the same thing that I was. It was dumb and really bothered me that I couldn’t just shake it off.

  Sara Ann tried to convince me that it wasn’t as bad as I made it seem and that I shouldn’t kick myself about it. She told me that it was in the hands of fate or the universe or whatever. I shouldn’t worry about things I couldn’t control.

  But I didn’t want to believe that I didn’t have control over it. Which was why I was doing everything I could think of to move past this whole thing.

  Mr. Wilts told me that he was having a bit of pain in his chest. He joked and said that it was heartbreak. It was no secret that he still wasn’t over his wife’s death. Though I hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing them together when she was alive, I could tell by the way that he always talked about her that he was completely in love with her.

  Though I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it, deep down inside I wanted that. I wanted that love that consumed me. That left me feeling a little empty when they weren’t around. I wanted that light in my eyes when I thought about them. Yeah, sad to say, but I did. There was a part of me—maybe a huge part of me—that wanted to see that future with Bocca.

  I shook off the thoughts and focused on Mr. Wilts. He was calm as he sat there, which made my job a little bit easier. I patted his hand and told him that we’d get him fixed up right away. Then I left the room and made sure all his information had been put in.

  I looked up to see Sara Ann walking in my direction. I cocked my head at her in confusion. I knew we had opposite shifts today and that I’d probably see her heading in as I was heading out. But my shift wasn’t quite over yet. So she was here super early.

  “They called me and said they were getting backed up,” she said with a smile and a huff. “I figured, what’s another three hours to this shift.” She laughed and shrugged like it wasn’t really a big deal.

  That was the thing I loved about her, she was rarely negative. She loved her job and didn’t mind being here more than she was at home.

  “So,” she said as she bumped my shoulder with hers. “Not much longer until you get to run from this place.”

  I looked up at her and there was an odd, almost mischievous, twinkle in her eye.

  “Uh, yeah,” I sputtered because that look had honestly thrown me.

  “Big plans for the evening?”

  “Okay, you’re being weird,” I said with a laugh. “No, of course not. You know me. I’m going to go home, get into my jammies and probably read.”

  “What’s it gonna be tonight? Pirates? Highlanders? Maybe, bad boy bikers?” she asked like she knew my reading choices so well.

  Okay, so she did. We often swapped books. Another thing I loved about her. She was always tossing me good ones.

  “Who knows. Maybe I’ll go crazy and get into some BDSM,” I joked back with a wink. I had read a few of those and while I found them intriguing if done right, I wasn’t super into them.

  “Oh wow! That does sound like a good night.” Her laugh followed me as I walked away to the next patient’s room, shaking my head but smiling.

  The next couple hours went by in a blur. There had been a car crash involving a city bus. The brakes had failed and caused a ten car pile up. Luckily, there were no life-threatening injuries but it did mean we had our hands full with a bunch of scraped up people and a few that had broken bones.

  “You out?” Sara Ann asked as she popped into the staff lounge to grab a fresh cup of coffee.

  “Yes!” I moaned with delight.

  “Glad Mr. Wilts is alright,” she said as I pulled out my purse and searched for my keys. “That poor old man. Love him to pieces, though.”

  “Yeah, me too. It’s like I don’t want to see him come in here because I don’t want anything to be wrong with him but at the same time, he brings a ray of sunlight to my day.”

  “Exactly,” she agreed with a smile. She eyed me as I checked to make sure I had everything. I tried not to find her behavior odd, but it sent a strange tingle down my spine. “Have a great night,” she said right as I was ready to head out the door.

  “You’re being really weird,” I said as I shot her a scrutinizing look, suddenly overcome with the feeling that I was missing something.

  She just smirked over her cup and raised a brow.

  I left feeling slightly shaken but I had no idea why.

  I parked in back of the building like I always did when I got home. And like recently, I looked over at the spot where I’d first come upon that beautiful stranger. Of course, I didn’t expect him to magically appear and though I wasn’t surprised to find it empty, I did feel the same pang in my chest that I felt every night I got home.

  I took the back stairs, my sneakered feet squeaking against the floor as I jogged up each flight.

  I pulled open the door to the fourth floor then opened my purse to search for my phone. It wasn’t like I expected to find a ton of missed calls and text. It was pretty much just habit at this point.

  As I neared my door, movement caught my eye. I lifted my head and a gasp fell from my lips.

  I blinked like I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

  My mouth parted, but no words came out.

  He smiled at me. Not a cocky, sexy smile. This was sweet and genuine. And almost timid and unsure. I was still standing there in shock, my eyes still blinking rapidly and my mouth opened like I was trying to catch flies.

  He was here.

  Bocca was standing right here at my door, looking almost like he’d been waiting a long time for me to get there.

  Neither of us moved or spoke. Our eyes were locked and the air grew hot all around me.

  “What are you doing here?” I sputtered as I snapped out of my shock.

  “How was your day?” he asked at the same time.

  And right then, right there, I melted.

  He asked me how my day was. The first words out of his mouth were nothing short of perfect. I couldn’t imagine anything else would have gotten me like that one simple question did. He could have said that he was sorry. He could have told me that he missed me. Hell, he could have dropped to his knee and asked me to marry him. But none of those things would have me handing over my heart like that one simple question did.

  He ignored my question, his eyes shined down into mine as he waited for my answer.

  How was my day? Well, I honestly couldn’t remember right now. I knew I had to give him something. My mind was racing. My skin was tingling. My heart was beating out of my chest.

  “Oh, you know, typical busy day in the EU,” I said lamely with a shrug as I tried to play it cool.

  “Tell me about it,” he said like he was really interested to know.

  “No,” I whispered.

  “No?” his face fell and for a second I felt bad. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch. I just really didn’t want to go into it right now.

  “No,” I repeated and smiled.
“I don’t want to talk.”

  Then I took life by the balls.

  I grabbed the front of his soft, worn T-shirt and pulled him to me.

  My lips met his and it wasn’t sweet. It was what I’d been thinking about for the last month. It was all the built-up tension and anxiety I’d had since he walked out of my life. It was frantic, hard, and desperate.

  His hands slid into my hair and he took over. I felt it everywhere. My whole body flushed and I was dizzy. I think I even swayed on my feet but he was right there, wrapping his arms around me and crushing my body into his very solid one.

  “You alright, dear?” Mrs. Ferrley’s voice broke through our little bubble.

  I ripped apart from Bocca, completely embarrassed that we’d been caught.

  Damn nosy, old lady.

  “Yes,” I replied trying to catch my breath. “All good. Have a wonderful night, Mrs. Ferrley.” I couldn’t even look at her at the moment. I waved over my shoulder then moved to unlock my door.

  Only I couldn’t, because my hands were currently shaking uncontrollably.

  Bocca calmly placed his big hands over mine and slid the keys from my grasp. He had no problem unlocking the door. It swung open and he didn’t make a move to step inside. His eyes were full of questions but I couldn’t voice my answers to them.

  So I grabbed him and pulled him inside, the door slamming shut behind us.

  “Whoa,” he said as I went to pretty much attack his mouth again.

  I blinked in confusion and took a step back. Had I read it all wrong.

  “Baby,” he said softly and there was something in his tone that made me feel like he wasn’t using it as a generic pet name this time. “Don’t do that. Don’t pull away from me. Hear me out, yeah?”

  I nodded and tried to hide my embarrassment and humiliation. Though, I had a good idea that I wasn’t doing a good job of it.

  “I—” he started then blew out a harsh breath like he was trying to get his words together. “Shit. I had things I really wanted to say. I didn’t come here for that. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about kissing you for a long time now. And if we are being honest, I’ve thought about more. But that was not my intention tonight. You just…wow, that kiss really threw me.”

  He shook his head like he was still trying to clear the fog from his brain. I giggled, actually giggled. Then my hand flew to my mouth as more embarrassment washed over me.

  “Fuck, you are cute as hell,” he said and smiled at me. “I came here to talk.”

  “Oh, okay. We can talk. Do you want something to drink?”

  I needed a distraction in the biggest way. Right now my body was screaming at me. My head was shouting things about not wanting to talk and I could hardly hear over it. I wanted to be disappointed, and I was, but how could I really be.

  There was a man.

  That wanted to talk.

  To me.

  Talk!

  I mean, that was rare, at least for me it was. So I really needed to take advantage of it while I could.

  And it wasn’t just any man. It was my sexy stranger that I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind.

  “No. Come sit.”

  He took my hand and led me over to the couch. He sat first and pulled me down onto his lap then wrapped his arms around me. The closeness had my stomach fluttering like crazy.

  “First, tell me about your day,” he said as he held me close.

  With a wistful sigh, I did. I told him about Mr. Wilts. About the pileup. About it all. And he hung on to every single word, even smiling along with me when I filled him in on the history of Mr. Wilts.

  When I was done I took a deep breath. I had given in to his demand and now he was going to give me some answers that I needed.

  “Why are you here?” I asked.

  “Simply put, I can’t stop thinking about you.” His eyes pinned me with truth.

  I could feel the heat hitting my cheeks. Maybe I had been all wrong about how he felt. Maybe I wasn’t as crazy as I had started to think. Or maybe I was, and he was right there beside me taking this train to Crazyville.

  “What took so long?” The question blurted itself out of my mouth before I could stop it.

  He looked down for a second. I wasn’t sure, but it felt like he was trying to hide his shame. My hand came up and my fingers danced along his jaw. The scruff of his short beard tickled my fingertips and I loved the feeling.

  “I was a mess,” he answered honestly. “I kind of still am. There are things that happened…well, I’m still trying to process it all. I felt like I’d brought enough shit into your life and I didn’t want to bring more. I’m sorry and I know that words don’t mean shit, but I’m here to show you that too.”

  I could have pushed for an explanation. I couldn’t lie, I was curious. But I saw the pain in his eyes and I just wanted to help him through this moment. All the other stuff could wait. If he was here, I chose to believe that this wasn’t something fleeting, that we would have more time. That I’d be able to hold him and walk beside him as he climbed his way out of the dark hole that he’d fallen into.

  “So,” I said with a smile. “Tell me about your day.”

  And just like that, he lit up. His full lips tilted into a beautiful smile and his arms relaxed around me. He leaned in, his lips brushing against my own so sweetly.

  “Oh, you know, typical day at the clubhouse. Woke up thinking about this amazing woman I met a month ago. Decided that I couldn’t stay away from her anymore. Ending it with her in my arms. So basically the best day ever, if I may say so. That’s pretty much it.”

  I laughed.

  “No more talking,” I said as I leaned in to kiss him.

  This was happening. Oh, yes. I was going to spend my night with a bad boy biker. And not the kind that I’d find written on pages.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Bocca

  I hadn’t planned this. When I came here, yes, sex was on my mind, but that wasn’t what I was going for. I mean, I was a guy, sex was always on my mind, and not always just lingering there in the background. That said, I wanted to do this right. I wanted to get to know her. I wanted to show her that I really cared.

  Because I did—really fucking care, that was.

  This woman drove me insane. I couldn’t even deny that.

  Perhaps having her sit on my lap wasn’t the smartest move. I just wanted to have her as close as possible. I wanted to touch her as much as I could. Especially because I wasn’t completely sure that she wasn’t going to tell me to fuck off. I was really hoping she wouldn’t.

  And now she was kissing me and clinging to me like no one had before. Oh, no, I wasn’t complaining. In fact, I wanted more.

  Talk. I had come here to talk. Only, my mind was currently telling me to shut up at the moment. I had this beautiful woman in my lap, her soft lips sliding against my own. No, I was definitely not trying to complain about that for even a fraction of a second.

  With a moan that I swallowed down, she writhed against me. There was no way she couldn’t feel how hard she made me. Fuck! I was ready to explode right there. How embarrassing would that be? Like for real. That would not be a good first impression.

  Forcing the blood to shoot back up to my brain, I pulled back. I couldn’t lie, the whine that slipped from her throat as our lips broke apart was sexy as hell.

  “You just got off work,” I said and my voice was raw and gravelly with lust. I cleared my throat and went on. “Why don’t you go get comfy, maybe take a bath and relax? I’ll take care of dinner. Okay?”

  She blinked at me. Then her head fell to the side and confusion pinched her brow.

  “I’m just saying, if you want to go at it, I’m all for that. But I figured you might want to eat and recharge a bit before we get to it. It’s going to take a lot of energy because once I get you in that bed, baby, I’m not letting you out for days.”

  Hold on. Before you go thinking that I was being a dick, I wasn’t. Sure, I had the sm
ooth tongue and charm dial set to one hundred. But come on, she wasn’t going to fall for it even a little. She hadn’t before and I doubted that had changed. This was my best attempt to break the tension and get her to relax. And as her head fell back and a beautiful laugh broke free of her throat, I knew I nailed it.

  “Days, huh?” she countered jokingly.

  “Maybe even weeks,” I said with a sexy smile.

  “Wait!” she said with a jerk like something had just occurred to her. “How the hell did you get in here?”

  Ahhh, yes, that. Well, I could have easily hacked the backdoor, now that I had access to my shit and all. I said I could have but I didn’t. Instead, I came here and took a chance. I tried to play it right and go through proper channels. Hey, I was prepared to wait out back for her to come home. I didn’t care how long I had to sit there.

  But luck had been on my side—and this time, in a good way. I’d caught Sara Ann on her way out. She vouched for me and Hank, the very same lobby guy that had been there the night Rosemarie found me, let me wait up by her door. That was after he eyed me skeptically for a good long minute and nonverbally told me not to make him regret it.

  “Sara Ann,” she said in a knowing whisper before I could answer her. “Oh, my, God! That’s why she was being so weird! You’ve been waiting that long for me to get here?”

  “I would have waited longer,” I said and though it was a bit cheesy, I didn’t say exactly what I was really thinking. You know, that I’d wait forever. Yep, that would have made it over the top cheesy, even if it was the truth.

  “Wow,” she said as she shook her head, laughed, and slapped my chest all at the same time. “That line was so bad that I’m going to choose to ignore it.”

  See, my shit didn’t work on her at all. Even when I was speaking true words from the heart. However, there was this twinkle in her eye that told me that she’d heard me and that she quite possibly had seen through the mushy shit. I felt like there were times that she just got me and you wouldn’t find me complaining about that.

  “Yeah, I could use a shower. I do have that work nastiness and all going on.” She reluctantly slid off my lap with a long sigh.